Tokein' for the Lord

The 9 Wisepeople in D.C. have spoken - and the majority do not have a sense of humor.

Apparently, "Bong Hits for Jesus" is a serious pro-drug message - if "sophomoric" as concluded by the majority of the Supremes. Although, I am having a difficult time concluding that something can be both sophomoric and serious. I will have to knit on that for awhile.

I have long wondered why teenagers think adults are morons. I used to believe that it had something to do with the fact they were teenagers, overdosing on hormones, pheremones, and junk food. Now I have decided that perhaps adults are, in fact, morons, willing to give up our power over anyone under the age of 18 by suffering from a deadly lack of humor.

Of course the hallmark of becomming an adult is the successful memory wipe of anything stupid we have ever done while under the illusion that it was the most clever and original thing to do on the face of the planet.

Cases in point.... No, no one has ever added an "R" to the "Big Bone Lick State Park" sign. No, no one had ever put an entire bottle of Cheer in the fountain in front of Patterson Tower at U.K. to see how far the bubbles would reach in the quad. No, no one had ever run an industrial sized garbage can up a flag pole and neatly capped the top of the pole requiring a ladder to get it down.

No, the hallmark of being an adult is the complete removal of a sense of humor that is replaced by anger and chagrin when our power is challenged by someone under the age of 25. This is a battle we can't win and only look stupid when we try.

If we really want to show teenagers who is boss, we need to get together and take over iTunes. When they can't download anything newer than 1999, that will show them who has the real power. Summer blockbusters should only star Diane Keaton or be directed by Woody Allen. Jeans should have an inseam longer than 2 inches and not go ding-dong when you walk. Shirts should have sleeves that reach to the elbow and provide TGC - total gut coverage. Paris Hilton should have to serve six months in jail and get a job.

Possibly the biggest thing we can do to stem the flow of our power is to stop pretending we have all the correct answers and know what we are doing. Take a deep breath during a smog alert and you will discover it probably isn't true.

If we want to help teenagers, we need to teach them to knit and hook them up with a mixed age knitting group. A knit night group will teach them everything they need to know about adults. Then again most teenagers I know are too cool for that.