Hubby’s Family Reunion Chapter 1

There are several phrases in the Old Testament that I learned to love as a small child. These phrases let you know something big was about to happen. One of them was so and so girded up his loins…. This phrase was so frequent that I wondered if any of the men in the Old Testament could do anything without girding up their loins. (For those of you who do not have the benefit of a Baptist Sunday School Education, men in the Old Testament wore tunics. As any woman who has ever worn a dress of any length will tell you, you can’t run very well in a dress. To get around this, men would take the back part of their dress and pull it up between their legs in the front and tuck it into their girdle (belt) – unless they were Scots. In that case they just didn’t wear underwear and made sure their skirt was all nice and flowy, not that there are many Scots in the Bible. This is just a useless piece of information that might help you win Jeopardy one day. I digress.)

Another phrase goes something like this… In the spring of the year, when the kings went to war… That is all kings but David, who stayed home and wound up impregnating his favorite army commander’s wife. Like most men, it never occurred to David to just say, “Yes, I slept with her. It was wrong. I should never have done it. I am sorry.” What follows is this tale of murder, heartbreak, family disintegration, and sadness.

I mention this because, since I married Hubby, I have been introduced to a new phrase. It goes something like this… In the hottest, most humid week of the year, Hubby’s family has their reunion somewhere in the Deep South. I mention the Deep South because many people are under the impression that Kentucky is the Deep South. Let me assure you that this is untrue. If you want South, think Georgia, North Carolina, or Florida. These states have heat and humidity even the most Southern part of Kentucky could not contemplate.

So, this year, we have started our trip to the reunion being held in Chiefland, Florida. Where is Chiefland, Florida you might ask? Nowhere in the cool happening places in Florida like Orlando, Miami, or Ft. Lauderdale. When I looked up Chiefland in the atlas, I noticed that Chiefland was surrounded by these little pictures of plants. I thought, “Hey, there is some kind of botanical garden or something in Chiefland”. This was before I looked up the little plant symbols in the atlas legend. The little plants meant swamp. Oh, yeah. Heat. Humidity. AND BUGS! The trifecta of fun.

I did, however, extract one concession from Hubby. If I went to the reunion with him, we would take a small detour through Asheville. I love Asheville. Asheville is wonderful. Asheville is great. Asheville can fortify you with enough coolness to get through a weekend reunion.

Before you can enjoy all that coolness, you have to get to Asheville.