Oh, Georgia, state founded as a penal colony for England, why are you so long and boring? Oh, Georgia, state of cudzu, red clay, and gnats, why are every one of your interstate exits carbon copies of each other? What happened to the road side peach and boiled peanut stands? You have time to contemplate these things as you wait to reach the state line.
Somewhere between Tiffton and Valdosta, I had to drive through buckets of rain. The pavement was so hot that I couldn’t tell if it was the rain that was blinding or the steam. I also had the fun job of driving the two lane road from the interstate to Chiefland.
Believe me, it isn’t as interesting as it sounds.
Chiefland has a couple of bar-b-cue joints, a grocery store, and a Wal-Mart. One of the things I have paid attention to on this trip is that a lot of the local people I have seen in the service industry have the same, hard look. This look is one of people who have lived a harder life than I have. They struggle with bills, kids, and work in places that offer few opportunities. I make sure to give a little bit extra in tips, not that it assuages my guilt all that much.
The big event of arrival evening was the unveiling of the Picture Room and the Game Room. The names tell you all you need to know. I did some time in the Picture Room and broke out the knitting. Just a basic pair of Christmas socks. It was enough to keep me awake and half alert. It isn’t as interesting as it sounds.
Afterwards several of us walked across the parking lot to the Sonic for some frozen treats. Yum! I did not make the mistake of walking through the ditch of death. There are many ditches of death in Florida.
For those of you who are blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurk in Florida, I will enlighten you. First, there are the alligators who enjoy swimming in people’s pools and eating their pets. Then there are the snakes. They aren’t just any snakes. No, they are the people-eating, giants that squeeze you to death before they chomp on you, snakes. Much like killer bees of the 80’s, the killer snakes are projected to reach Kentucky within the next 15-20 years if global warming continues. Please recycle, go to hybrid cars, and stop eating meat so we can prevent killer snake migration. Your pets will thank you.
In Florida, unlike Kentucky, the evenings are warm enough that snakes will be mobile and on the prowl. In ditches of death you have more of a chance of encountering killer snakes who want to eat you. Unfortunately killer snakes can also climb stairs. I make sure that there are no snake tracks leading to my second floor hotel room.
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