Confessions from the Darkside

I think moving would not have been so terrible were it not for a couple of major things. Work has been a bit bonko due to all the special H1N1 clinics.

I will admit up front that I am a government employee. So, most of the time it is with no little irritation that I listen to people denigrate government and its supposed inefficiency. The panacea de jour is how much better government would function if it were run more like a business. I say there are governments that are run like a business. They are called dictatorships and authoritarian regimes. Democracy, by definition, is not an efficient means of running a government because, and this is key, everybody gets a vote and a say in how things are run.

But I digress…..

My current laugh a minute irony is listening to people talk about how inefficient government is, but that we are also engaging in this hugely efficient conspiracy related to H1N1. Depending on whom you speak to, the government is a) using the H1N1 vaccine as a method of implanting tracking devices into the citizenry; b) using the H1N1 vaccine to thin the heard; c) using the H1N1 vaccine to conduct genetic experiments or d) using the H1N1 vaccine to see how difficult it would be to euthanize babies and old people when we get socialized medicine.

The truth is more sinister. The government convinced Warren Buffet to donate vast sums of money to pay Rush Limbaugh to tell his listeners not to get the H1N1 vaccine. The left wing conspiracy is to keep the vaccine solely for us and our socialist overlords in Canada. To make it easier for them to take over the United States, we need to discourage right wing, God fearing conservatives from getting vaccinated and thereby vulnerable to H1N1. In their weakened state, they will be unable to defend against gun regulation, socialized medicine, changing Kraft Macaroni and Cheese to Kraft Dinner, and having to end every sentence with “eh”.

Most of all we have been able to keep it all a deep secret from our puppets in the liberal media, and Fox News.

Now that I have confessed and set some minds at ease, let me be serious.

People die in this country every day from preventable diseases. It is a shame that when it comes to public health, we, who have benefitted most from vaccination technology in the reduction to near elimination of childhood diseases, are so willing to turn back the clock to the days of our parents and grandparents.