Passive-Aggressive Terrorists

Lately when talking to my mom, I have used the phrase, a bit sarcastically (moi, sarcastic, never!), “Well, you know, it’s all about me.” while meaning the complete opposite. I probably use this phrase more than I should, but I have been thinking about this concept a lot lately.

Nothing gives you quite the drama as a sick grandparent or two. All the kiddies come out to misbehave, leaving the adults in the dust at once confused and pissed-off. Having more than a passing acquaintance with Southern culture, I am all for people being as eccentric as they want to be, however, there is a difference between tie dying your underwear and wearing it over you clothes and being a passive-aggressive terrorist.

The passive-aggressive terrorist could give the Taliban a few pointers, and from the situation in the Swat Valley, I am not so sure they haven’t. First, you agree to things. Then as soon as the decision is made, you exercise several options. Option 1 – Pretend that none of it happened, so when you get to the next step you can be in control because you are the victim who is being left out. Option 2 – Agree to everything and then do exactly the opposite, while claiming that you are in fact doing everything that was agreed. Option 3 – Refuse to do anything. Refuse to talk to anyone. Take all your little toys and go home. Option 4 – Go on the attack. Option 5 – Act as if everyone else is stupid and knows nothing while at the same time playing the victim of everyone else’s stupidity. Option 6 – When all else fails, throw yourself in the floor and throw yourself a good old tantrum.

Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the whole situation is that the passive-aggressive terrorists have the power they have because no one wants to confront them, because unlike the passive-aggressive terrorists, some of us realize that isn’t always about us and that others have feelings, valid viewpoints, and rights, too. Why do we realize that? Because we have learned to act like adults.

In my experience there are basically two ways to deal with the Passive-Agressive Terrorist . One, is to treat a 5 year old in a grown-up’s body the same way a teenager would deal with them: tell them that they can join the game when they are older and more mature, and then ignore them until they do. Better yet, treat them like adults and perhaps they will start behaving as adults. Either way, things won’t change until someone looks them straight in the eye and says, “I call bull shit on thee, and I am not going to tolerate it any more.”