What Comes Next

We buried my grandmother two Saturdays ago. In many ways it was more difficult and sadder than when we buried my grandfather.

My grand parents had paid for and planned most of the funeral arrangements. When my grandfather died, it was all about what my grandmother wanted and needed. When my grandmother died, it became about other things.

As I sat in the funeral home for the visitation, it occurred to me that every one has some philosophy about the after life – even nihilists. I will admit to being a bit schizophrenic in my beliefs. On the one hand, I believe we are transformed into pure spirit beings joining with the Creator of the Universe. On the other hand, I think of the afterlife like this luxury resort where people get to do what gives them pleasure and satisfaction the whole day long.

It is this last imagery I use when I imagine my maternal grandparents.

My grandmother is most assuredly cooking for half the inhabitants of the resort and having them over for dinner. If the luxury resort is perfect, my grandmother will have this wonderful expanding table and dining room that will easily set 10 or 10,000. If the luxury resort is perfect, there will be a telephone so my grandmother can call her sisters and let them know to the last soul how many ate at her table.

My grandfather will have a wood shop where he can whittle and create his tables, chairs, and yard art. Each room in the luxury resort and each dining table will have a tooth pick holder he made.

For my paternal grandparents, I think of the after life as a spirit place.

My grandfather’s body gave out on him and we buried him 5 years ago. The last few years of his life, he slowly suffocated from emphysema. My grandmother’s mind has given out on her. Her body keeps going. Arthritis put her in a wheel chair and unable to do most things.

For them I imagine a place where bodies are redundant. It is enough that the spirit lives in a place of light and peace.

Thoughts about the afterlife are like funerals – they are more for the living than the dead and that is fine with me.