Ten Things I Learned While Walking Down Beale Street

1. My gene pool is missing the gene that allows one to survive 100 degrees and 95% humidity.
2. Free music is not always good music.
3. People look stupid carrying a cup the size of a bucket with "Big Ass Beer" emblazoned on the side.
4. One should check Robert Earl Keene's schedule more dilligently.
5. It is obvious that some ethnic groups have had to learn to clap with the beat.
6. College students still look like college students.
7. College students still think they are way cooler than the rest of us.
8. College students fall into three categories: drunk, getting it on, or drunk and getting it on.
9. Middle aged women shouldn't dirty dance in the street.
10. If you have cazongas bigger than a B-cup, please for the love of god and all that is holy, wear a freakin' bra.