The View Outside My Window

I started the day this morning on my throne looking out the window. There was a two headed dog on the corner and a loud bird screaming on the power wire above its head. For a moment I thought I was stoned, but just realized it was a normal Monday morning in the urban'burbs.

A lot has gone on since I last wrote. It has taken awhile to process everything, so some of my next few posts may have that Alice through the looking glass and down the rabbit hole feeling.

Last week, we had a big community meeting. It is definitely an election year. The city wants to know what our neighborhood would like to see in the coming years to improve livability. Hubby and I sat at a table around a giant map of our neighborhood with some geezers from the local geezer apartment high rise and the 12 year old intern from the planning commission.

Apparently the geezers are having issues crossing the street to the McDonald's to get their coffee and hold their local geezer conclave. So, all they want is a longer light, although that light is one of the longer ones in human history. Don’t forget the park by the McDonald’s so they can hold their geezer meetings in a park on some benches. (For some undisclosed reason, consuming your McDonald’s coffee inside the McDonald’s or on the outside tables at the McDonald’s is not up to geezer standards.) Oh, and they also want a family style, upscale sit down restaurant by the McDonald’s so they can walk to it. Well, the Kroger is too far to walk to and besides its too expensive, so they also want an Aldi’s or a Sav-A-Lot by the McDonald’s.

Nothing quite screams upscale restaurant like an Aldi’s or a Sav-A-Lot in the same shopping center as Big Lots, Value City Furniture, Dollar General Store, Everything for a Dollar, and Big Bob’s Carpet and Flooring.

I could not stop myself from pointing this out.

I also couldn’t stop myself from saying that the state is not going to lengthen the light during rush hour on a four lane road that is a major artery and already congested to encourage pedestrian crossings during rush hour and perhaps it would be easier to cross the street before or after rush hour. I got the geezer sour face of death. Perhaps Logan’s Run should become our model. It would solve worrying about the availability of Social Security.

After the meeting, Hubby and I met some more of our neighbors. I now know who the controlling one is and told Hubby that we are sure to be talked about. Not that I care, but come on, our lives aren’t all that interesting.

Of course the devious nose tweaker in me immediately wanted to purchase a giant fountain for our front yard that has those little boys peeing the water into the main fountain basin. Then I wanted to add a naked couple locked in passionate embrace, because if you are going to do something like that, the more outrageous the better. To top it all off, I would add those giant flood lights, whose light beam the astronauts on the space station use as reading lamps, that car dealerships use to share my yard art with my neighbors.

For now, I will just have to settle for them seeing Craig in all his nerdy glory mowing the yard in his acid burned pants and giant headphones. At least he mows the yard.