As If Freezing Weren't Enough

Dear Mother Nature and Current Boyfriend El Nino,

It seems we have made you monumentally angry. Let me assure you it wasn't me. I have always respected your power and creatures - except for snakes, rodents, and bugs, which I don't think you much like either because you make them live in the dirt, eat trash, and have hardwired humans to want to smash their little skulls in on sight. So, I would ask that you would please make it stop snowing on my house and in my neighborhood. I have plenty of toilet paper and milk, thank you very much, but I would like to be able to get out to see my friends more easily. I am also going through a bit of Starbucks withdrawal as I have been unable to stop by for my once weekly quad venti soy latte before going to work. I really needed that latte on Wednesday morning.

It would also be helpful because I Mardi Gras is tomorrow and I really would like to make some Jambalya or Creole this week. I heard that Whole Foods had crawdads and I would love to be able to get them to get my Cajun on.

There there is the fact tv sucks butt because of the Olympics. I appreciate looking at all the beautiful Nordic peoples as much as the next person, but all that gear obscures the view. Except for the luge, but that is only because they are wearing skintight bodysuits and lying on their backs. All you see are feet and then knee bump, package bump, Adam's apple bump and helmet. If it weren't for the bumps it would be as if a PEZ dispenser was hurtling down a chute at 100 mph. For some reason, the other channels have colluded to prevent NBC from sliding into oblivion by putting on reruns. Thanks.

I would not be so sensitive to the whole tv issue, but I am trying to make a good showing with my Knitting Olympics challenge. So far I have gotten Multnomah II finished and I am making good progress on the Gradient Scarf - no thanks to a horrible Anne Hathaway movie.

All I am asking, Mother Nature and psychotic boyfriend El Nino, is that you move the severe weather to some other region. I am thinking that the polar ice caps could use the snow and sub freezing temperatures more that we could.